Journals37
Newest
So stuff happened...
3 min read
Hey Deviants.
I've been pretty inactive on Deviant Art lately...just posting things and replying to the few comments that I receive on posts. And there is a reason besides school and stress and all that. And I'm going to spill everything on this post so the following words are going to mainly rant-y.
So, about a month or two ago, my parents found out I'm queer. It was absolutely terrible. I'm from an Indian heritage and that basically means that they're just not accepting of anything outside of the typical Indian norm. Indians can't be attracted to their own gender! (notice the sarcasm) Basically, my mother confronted me about this and I got so freaked out that I just told them because I've been hiding such a big thing from her for such a long time. But honestly, I wanted to tell them this much later in my life...preferably when I'm out of the house. My mom was obviously very upset and expected that from her, but I expected her to also be understanding as well. So obviously she told my father and we had this long conversation which involved my mother crying and blaming herself for everything and my dad repeatedly saying that I'm confused. Since that night, we've had tons of fights. They keep on telling me that I'm confused I'm confused I'm confused I'm confused I'm confused I'm confused.....and that's all I really am, aren't I? Seriously, I feel so hollow thinking about it because for those two weeks after that night was the possible feeling I have felt. The people who are supposed to love you unconditionally...just not anymore. Finally, they reached the conclusion that I have a mental disorder and who better to go to for help than a psychologist? So I went to the psychologist and much to their surprise *dramatic gasp* the psychologist couldn't do anything about it because apparently I don't have a mental disorder. Who would have known? So on the car ride back, my parents again started yelling at me. My mom started crying again and my dad even called me a prostitute (even though I have never dated anyone). They are completely misinformed about my sexuality and they won't even try to do any researched on the topic so they can at least try to enlighten themselves. I had a dance performance later on that day so it helped me take my mind off of that. It's definitely cooled down a lot since then. I told them that "I'm making progress" and that "I'm trying very hard" as well and they just gobble it up. They just tell me to pray to God and hope he helps me get off the path I'm in. Otherwise, they've been pretending that the incident never happened. However, they still have trust issues, so they basically blocked every social media and blogs on my computer. This includes Deviant Art, Tumblr, Youtube, Blogger, etc. Fortunately, the computers at the library have not been blocked so I have been able to post things when I find the free time. Also, being on the robotics team at school has helped a ton because literally 75% of the team identifies as lgbt and my friends have been very supportive.
God - I feel completely drained from writing that. But at least you all are informed...
From,
Urvi Panda (The-Artist-Incognito)
I've been pretty inactive on Deviant Art lately...just posting things and replying to the few comments that I receive on posts. And there is a reason besides school and stress and all that. And I'm going to spill everything on this post so the following words are going to mainly rant-y.
So, about a month or two ago, my parents found out I'm queer. It was absolutely terrible. I'm from an Indian heritage and that basically means that they're just not accepting of anything outside of the typical Indian norm. Indians can't be attracted to their own gender! (notice the sarcasm) Basically, my mother confronted me about this and I got so freaked out that I just told them because I've been hiding such a big thing from her for such a long time. But honestly, I wanted to tell them this much later in my life...preferably when I'm out of the house. My mom was obviously very upset and expected that from her, but I expected her to also be understanding as well. So obviously she told my father and we had this long conversation which involved my mother crying and blaming herself for everything and my dad repeatedly saying that I'm confused. Since that night, we've had tons of fights. They keep on telling me that I'm confused I'm confused I'm confused I'm confused I'm confused I'm confused.....and that's all I really am, aren't I? Seriously, I feel so hollow thinking about it because for those two weeks after that night was the possible feeling I have felt. The people who are supposed to love you unconditionally...just not anymore. Finally, they reached the conclusion that I have a mental disorder and who better to go to for help than a psychologist? So I went to the psychologist and much to their surprise *dramatic gasp* the psychologist couldn't do anything about it because apparently I don't have a mental disorder. Who would have known? So on the car ride back, my parents again started yelling at me. My mom started crying again and my dad even called me a prostitute (even though I have never dated anyone). They are completely misinformed about my sexuality and they won't even try to do any researched on the topic so they can at least try to enlighten themselves. I had a dance performance later on that day so it helped me take my mind off of that. It's definitely cooled down a lot since then. I told them that "I'm making progress" and that "I'm trying very hard" as well and they just gobble it up. They just tell me to pray to God and hope he helps me get off the path I'm in. Otherwise, they've been pretending that the incident never happened. However, they still have trust issues, so they basically blocked every social media and blogs on my computer. This includes Deviant Art, Tumblr, Youtube, Blogger, etc. Fortunately, the computers at the library have not been blocked so I have been able to post things when I find the free time. Also, being on the robotics team at school has helped a ton because literally 75% of the team identifies as lgbt and my friends have been very supportive.
God - I feel completely drained from writing that. But at least you all are informed...
From,
Urvi Panda (The-Artist-Incognito)
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Yay! Update!
2 min read
Hey Deviants!
Happy 2016...22 days late
So for the past couple of weeks, I've been studying my butt off for midterms and as of today, it's officially over and I have my life back now! I swear to goodness, I'm so happy right now that I'm going to read a couple of books, create art I'm proud of, and dance around to the Ramones or something. I have so many ideas and I just can't wait to put them on to paper. Besides the tragedy of midterms, I also decided to take up French because why the heck not? And I'm going to go to my first english concert ever ^_^ I say english because I've been to tons of concerts by Indian artist before and they're all really good, but honestly I prefer english music over bollywood any day. Anyways, I'm going to see Muse on Monday after school and I'm so hyped! That really all that's been happening as of right now but hey, the year just began and I just can't wait to make the most out of it.
That's all for now!
From,
Urvi Panda (The-Artist-Incognito)
Happy 2016...22 days late
So for the past couple of weeks, I've been studying my butt off for midterms and as of today, it's officially over and I have my life back now! I swear to goodness, I'm so happy right now that I'm going to read a couple of books, create art I'm proud of, and dance around to the Ramones or something. I have so many ideas and I just can't wait to put them on to paper. Besides the tragedy of midterms, I also decided to take up French because why the heck not? And I'm going to go to my first english concert ever ^_^ I say english because I've been to tons of concerts by Indian artist before and they're all really good, but honestly I prefer english music over bollywood any day. Anyways, I'm going to see Muse on Monday after school and I'm so hyped! That really all that's been happening as of right now but hey, the year just began and I just can't wait to make the most out of it. That's all for now!
From,
Urvi Panda (The-Artist-Incognito)
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Hey Deviants!
So last Friday, I had the opportunity to got an a trip with my dance teacher to a the northern New Hampshire town of Piermont to teach at a local school there. The trip was about three or two hours long and this was one of the first times that I've been without my parents for over a day which was exciting. After coming home from school on Thursday, I hurriedly packed my bags and my dance teacher picked me up to set forth our journey. When we got to Piermont, it was around seven o'clock at night but it was pitch black. We stayed a motel there which, fan fact, was also a drive in movie theater. Cool, right?
Anyways, the next day I woke up at around 6:30 in the morning to the lights of my dance teacher getting ready for the day. After willing myself out of bed, I was able to shower, dress, apply make up, etc. This is what I looked like if you were wondering:
choreographies to five groups of students and then at the end they all had to perform their pieces to the entire school.
Teaching was amazing. I saw so many creative ideas and thoughts about our dance and culture that it honestly made me so happy. Seeing the kids so excited after learning a piece made my entire day. And just talking to each of the kids made me really aware of things I didn't know before. I made friends with a third grader and she told me about how she lived on a horse farm that had around twenty horse living there. There was this boy who kept on hugging me - he told me that his dad owned a local business and it would be great if I went. Everyone was so respectful and sincere, it just makes me smile when thinking about it.
At the end of the day, each grade performed their choreography and everybody had such fun doing it. Their faces lit up when their peers applauded them and I gave so many people high fives that day - all for the student's hard work and effort. At the very end, my dance teacher and I performed for the last time and then school was dismissed. Here's a couple of pictures of us performing:
Then it was over. At least five students came over to hug me and a very sweet girl from eighth grade gave us a flower that she made out of paper and glitter glue. And remember that third grader I was telling you about? The one with the twenty horses? Well she was so sad that after this day, I may never see her again that she wanted something to remember me by. Like the artist I am, I always carry around a sketchpad to doodle in so I decided to give her one of my drawings - she really loved it.
I left Piermont with the hugest smile on my face. Since we left during the day time, I was truly able to witness the beautiful scenery of northern New Hampshire - from its purple mountains to its rolling clouds in the sky as the sun started to set. On the way home, I had more than enough time to just progress what just happened. I taught 100 children about my heritage and culture! I made people really happy while doing it as well! You can say that this would be an adventure that I'd never forget.
From,
Urvi Panda (The-Artist-Incognito)
So last Friday, I had the opportunity to got an a trip with my dance teacher to a the northern New Hampshire town of Piermont to teach at a local school there. The trip was about three or two hours long and this was one of the first times that I've been without my parents for over a day which was exciting. After coming home from school on Thursday, I hurriedly packed my bags and my dance teacher picked me up to set forth our journey. When we got to Piermont, it was around seven o'clock at night but it was pitch black. We stayed a motel there which, fan fact, was also a drive in movie theater. Cool, right?
Anyways, the next day I woke up at around 6:30 in the morning to the lights of my dance teacher getting ready for the day. After willing myself out of bed, I was able to shower, dress, apply make up, etc. This is what I looked like if you were wondering:
After getting ready, my dance teacher and I quickly headed out to get to the school by 8, when school starts. When we reached Piermont Village School, it certainly wasn't what I was expecting but I could never have asked for more. The school itself looked more like a house than anything else and it had a very homely atmosphere. The school consisted of only 100 students ranging from pre-school to 8th grade and everyone was just so kind and respectful. The school day for us started off with an assembly in which my teacher and I had to perform to the entire school a couple of dances and teach them about Indian culture. After that, individual grades of students came to us every hour to participate in dance workshops. We had to teach five different
Teaching was amazing. I saw so many creative ideas and thoughts about our dance and culture that it honestly made me so happy. Seeing the kids so excited after learning a piece made my entire day. And just talking to each of the kids made me really aware of things I didn't know before. I made friends with a third grader and she told me about how she lived on a horse farm that had around twenty horse living there. There was this boy who kept on hugging me - he told me that his dad owned a local business and it would be great if I went. Everyone was so respectful and sincere, it just makes me smile when thinking about it.
At the end of the day, each grade performed their choreography and everybody had such fun doing it. Their faces lit up when their peers applauded them and I gave so many people high fives that day - all for the student's hard work and effort. At the very end, my dance teacher and I performed for the last time and then school was dismissed. Here's a couple of pictures of us performing:
Then it was over. At least five students came over to hug me and a very sweet girl from eighth grade gave us a flower that she made out of paper and glitter glue. And remember that third grader I was telling you about? The one with the twenty horses? Well she was so sad that after this day, I may never see her again that she wanted something to remember me by. Like the artist I am, I always carry around a sketchpad to doodle in so I decided to give her one of my drawings - she really loved it.
I left Piermont with the hugest smile on my face. Since we left during the day time, I was truly able to witness the beautiful scenery of northern New Hampshire - from its purple mountains to its rolling clouds in the sky as the sun started to set. On the way home, I had more than enough time to just progress what just happened. I taught 100 children about my heritage and culture! I made people really happy while doing it as well! You can say that this would be an adventure that I'd never forget.
From,
Urvi Panda (The-Artist-Incognito)
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
Featuring Brilliance
2 min read
Hey Deviants!
So, I haven't made one of these feature things in a while because of school/life/etc. but I'm here now so let's get going - shall we?
Gosh, I just get so inspired every time I go on this website - okay, I have to practice some dance now for the performance that I have today
I'll try not to stress out so much about it. Thanks for reading!
From,
Urvi Panda (The-Artist-Incognito)
So, I haven't made one of these feature things in a while because of school/life/etc. but I'm here now so let's get going - shall we?
Gosh, I just get so inspired every time I go on this website - okay, I have to practice some dance now for the performance that I have today
I'll try not to stress out so much about it. Thanks for reading!From,
Urvi Panda (The-Artist-Incognito)
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
#Artist Problems
1 min read
Do any of you work really, really hard on an artwork for a while and then when you finally finish it, you're relieved, but at the same time you're like "So, what do I do with my life now?" 
Is that just me?
Is that just me?
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In